Ever gotten jalapeno oil in your eyes? Yeah, it’s a bummer.

Not that I would know how that feels—I’m not an injury-prone idiot…

By “baked” I really mean the lazy man’s version of jalapeno poppers. I like cheese, I like jalapenos. I just combined them in the easiest way I could without any complicated breading or frying.

It’s weird, within the same batch, one popper will be super sweet and not the least spicy, and another popper of comparable size will be hot as hell. It’s odd. As a rule of thumb, if you can’t handle spicy don’t make these bake them longer on a lower heat before broiling.

I usually eye-ball ingredients when I make this, and when I measured I was making 6 billion for a cookout. Amounts might’ve wonkied a bit in the process of scaling down. Fortunately, this is a really flexible recipe. Worst that could happen is you and up with some leftover filling or jalapenos, but hopefully the ratios should work out close enough.

Jalapeno Poppers
Makes 2 dozen poppers

• 12 Jalapenos
• 4 oz goat cheese
• 1 tsp honey
• 1/2 cup cottage cheese (could probably use cream cheese or ricotta)
• 1/4 cup chopped hard cheese (I used a a bit of parmesan, some asiago, and reybener that I had)
• 1/4 cup cheddar
• Optional*—I threw in 1/4 cup each of some havarti and some jarlsburg because I had them on hand. (If you haven’t noticed yet, I’m sort of a quesophile. And by “sort of” I mean a hard-core eat-a-grilled-cheese-sandwich-without-the-sandwich-part addict.)
• 1 small onion or 1/2 medium onion, finely diced

1. Halve lengthwise and seed the jalapenos (plant the seeds, or use them to flavor something later if you’re feeling thrifty) (when you halve, cut along the side that makes the deepest poppers)
2. Mix the rest of the ingredients together and then spoon a liberal amount into each jalapeno half.
3. Place in a baking dish (don’t even need to oil) and bake @ 350 for about 30-40 minutes or until jalapenos have lost their bright color and are tender.
4. Turn oven up to broil and place under the broiler for a minute or two until the tops get a little crispy.
5. Serve while hot. Mmmm.  
6. Eat with sour cream if too spicy.